I was going through some of my notebooks and found a bunch of loose papers. All had the beginnings of stories on them which were somewhat disconnected. Looking at the scribbled page numbers in between the doodles helped. There were also school notes about the book Antigone which I read 11 years ago. As well as some recipes. You can find one of them at the end of this post!
While reading through everything I had a morbid thought (which likely stems from recently watching the TV series Six Feet Under): What if I did nothing with these notes and they were discovered after my death? So I’m going to put them here, in a more permanent place I guess.
Poem found with the Antigone notes:
They walk in another realm
In the dark they creep
Finding fun in making mortals weep
For they are immortal and only found in our sleep
Be thankful they walk in another realm
Doomed are those who face them and doomed are those who don’t
No way of seeing their reflection
The slightest whisper, they’ll hear
Be thankful they walk in another realm
Thoughts: To be honest, I’m not really sure what I was writing about. I thought it could be about vampires, just because of the reflection part. But I don’t think it is. I think Antigone was influencing me somewhat.
Next set of notes:
At one time many believed to be alone in the universe. This is beyond me, for I was born and raised in a culture that never dreamed of carrying this belief. For years I have studied the human race, past and present. Yet I struggle to grasp why, for so many generations, that an entire race could be so close minded. I often question this all the while not getting any answers, only more possibilities. I rely on history books, journals created by doctors, and through word of mouth. I have probably read more than anyone could ever dream. It is like a puzzle-I have yet to find the right pieces to fit the empty spaces.
I have come to a realization. My approach of taking the studying method has been successful to a degree, but now I must try a new approach. I will act as a profiler. Profilers were used in human crimes to decipher how the crime unfolded and their findings lead to clues criminals left behind. What I will do with all my knowledge of how the human race once was is to look from their perspective; throwing myself in their most desperate times and just maybe I’ll get somewhere. Where to start?
…
To the human race, I live in a world beyond worlds, filled with a growing number of different civilizations. It is incomprehensible to know exactly what is lurking in the vast mystical universe. Most complain about never having time for themselves, but what is better? I have all the time in the world. Alone in my thoughts never to be voiced or understood. Trapped, trapped in my mind.
Thoughts: So, from what I can recall, I was writing about an alien who was a student of the human race and the first two paragraphs are a forward of sorts. The next part describes how the alien is for some reason alone amongst many which contradicts the earlier statement of never carrying this belief: “…to be alone in the universe.” I remember I wrote this at work when I was doing data entry and falling asleep at my desk. Maybe that’s why I ended up contradicting myself.
On finding some old notes and putting them here, I suppose this is a kind of transformation. From loose notes to a blog post on the endless internet ether.
Here’s one of the recipes I mentioned. My friend Susan gave it to me in 2009 and it is quite delicious!
matteruniverse.com 